A journal of healing

Fall endings

It was a wonderful summer. It was the first summer I have had off since I was a high school teacher. I thought I would be bored, but I was far from it. I probably did more reading than I have done since I was in college. I also had one of the best gardens I have ever had. I had time to water and weed it and I was constantly tending to the plants. But now fall is upon us and I must say good-bye to the garden for the winter.

This is very difficult for me to do. I hate watching the plants wither and die. We have not had a frost yet, but when we do, the impatiens that are left will be melted in the morning. The squirrels have been burying nuts in the pots and so many of the plants are already destroyed. I think all the nut planting is a sign we are going to have a tough winter.

The trees are just starting to drop their leaves. The yard is completely private with the canopy of shrubs and trees. It will feel so exposed soon.

But I know that this is the cycle of life. We all come into the world for a short period of time. The purpose is to spread joy and make the world a better place. I think this is a life purpose of all things. I also believe everything has a spirit and we are all connected. I feel very connected to my garden and all the animals that live and visit in it.

This fall is going to be very difficult for one of my friends. Her husband has just been diagnosed with end stage cancer. There is no hope, no future.  He will be here for only a very short time. He is in the fall of his life.

I have been thinking about my friend and her husband constantly. What would I do if I was her? What would I do if I was him? Getting a diagnosis like end stage anything is horrible. She has been so strong and I hope she knows she is surrounded with love. I wonder though how I would feel if I was told I had a month to six to live. What would I do with the time?  How angry would I be?

I have spent time in quiet reflection just thinking about that question of what would I do? My mind cannot process it. I have even discussed it with my husband and we both came up with a few lame ideas, mostly travel. But what if I could not travel either?

Reality hit me square in the eyes. We should all live like we are in the fall of our lives, because in essence, we are all dying. We should not live with the concept of ignoring that fact nor should we give up because of the inevitable end.

We should live with gusto and a fullness of life every day. It means embracing every moment because each one is special and it will never be the same. We should celebrate ourselves and our relationships because they are work we have done. Life is full of ups and downs and the fact that we have survived the ride is success in itself. Nothing comes into this world without leaving an imprint somewhere.

 

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