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Ripples

Last week I was chatting with my friend who is about the same age as me. We both agreed that the energy we have has dwindled and that it seems so much harder to get through the week. I am not sure if it is the weather, our age, our physical limitations, or all the above. So I sat and thought about it. I realized it was all the above but then there are other things happening that has definitely changed the energy of our world. Although I am not directly impacted, the ripple does affect all. These are some of the things I have observed.

The whole Trump situation is totally negative. Whether you are for or against, it sets up a very adversarial situation, since there are few who are not affected by his actions. I personally can’t stand the man for many reasons. But every time he opens his mouth, he sets off a ripple of anger. Either people are destroyed by something he does or people feel they have to defend him because no one trusts him. It has created a state of anxiety and fear and he is totally unaware of his actions. He is so far removed from reality that there is no way he could have an idea of what affect his decisions have. But the people around him do, and they are letting him. It is so out of control right now that it sets up an atmosphere of fear.

We have a severe water issue here in my area and upstate New York. I have a friend who lives on a road that is between the big lake and a series of ponds. Her house is slowly filling with water as her beach area falls into the lake. She said her basement walls are weeping water which will eventually dissolve her foundation. There are many in this situation. My beloved River is over her banks as well. Parts of Boldt Castle are underwater. They had to close down operations up there. That will really hurt their economy as they only have six months to make their money. Although it does not affect me directly, the idea of my favorite place in the world being in jeopardy does upset me.

I work in health care. It is the most regulated industry out there. We live in fear of audits. They are not fair. Our last audit they hit us for things that have never come up before. Stupid things. We had to go back and get I 9’s for all the volunteers. We have never had to do that. People who submitted an application electronically and who were hired had to come in to HR and sign their application even if they have worked for us for ten years. There were more stupid things.

Every week we get a letter called a Dear Administrator letter. The one for last week was about the requirements for Home Health Aide training. They changed the rules. So now I have to institute classes to compensate for a change in a regulation so we do not get dinged when they come in. We live in fear of this kind of thing all the time. This fear and constant worry about documentation and regulations permeate this field. It is extremely negative but there is no getting around it.

Maybe I am just getting tired of this constant negative world. I know I am not going to do anything about work for a couple of more years. I certainly can’t quit with no health insurance.

Well, this blog certainly did not cheer me up either. It doesn’t help to spread doom and gloom, so I will stop and go sit outside in the rain.

Water, water, water…..

 I used to think it would be so grand to have a house down on the big lake. I would actually love to have a place on the River. But after this spring, I am not so sure. The rain has been non-stop. The creeks are overflowing, parks are under water and roads are closed. We took a journey out to one of our favorite parks this afternoon. It was shocking.

   This is one beach area at the park. In the distance, you can see a break wall under water. That is how far the beach use to go out. Now it is right up to picnic area.

  This part of the beach was three times as big as it is now.

  Where those trees are used to be dry. You could walk out there and sit. There was a small beach area around the trees. Last week,  we also went down to another favorite spot. There is a long pier going out from the bay to the lake that you can walk on. It was too windy for us. We took some pictures of the houses that face the lake.

  Where the logs are out far was where the beach once was.       The  erosion and water is very bad. This was last week. This location is now closed because the bay and the lake have breached on either side.

  It has been so cold and damp that I have not been able to sit out. I also am very sick with the flu. It has wiped me out. I have never slept as much as I have this past weekend. Although I think I am on the mend, I would not wish this on anyone. Well, maybe Trump.

  Our garden is waiting for me to spruce it up. Fortunately, the flowering trees have been spectacular. My annuals are coming up including the roses I thought I lost. The lilacs are blooming, but they need more sun. Mrs. Dove grew her baby and it took off last Thursday. She is already sitting on a new egg or two. We also have a sparrow family in one house and a chick-a-dee in another. I want to sit out. Slowly I hope the weather and I will improve and it will be garden time

 

 

Spring is here

 After the longest March, we finally are past snow and ice. It was particularly brutal and I feel like it took a lot out of me this year. Fortunately for us, we did not have any damage done on the house, but our neighbors were not so lucky. But moving on, it is finally Spring.

  I knew it was Spring when Momma dove suddenly appeared in her nest from last year.These two little guys faced many harsh and cold nights, but managed to survive. We did not think they would be alright but they made it to become big and beautiful.

 The one Sunday, the bigger one flew away and left one behind.  Eventually, she  left. Now Momma is back and has one new baby already.  We have so many doves now that come to feed at my feeders and I hope many of them are the offspring that were birthed in this nest.

 Miss Cookie and her counter part, Browny have certainly enjoyed the warming up. Although she loves to roll in the snow, she could do without rain.

             One thing that says Spring is the sunsets. We sit on a hill and the light comes through the trees and is very pretty.

  My neighbors all have beautiful trees which are in bloom. I sit out every chance I get to enjoy the view.

   Yesterday, we went for our annual visit to this one peach orchard. I always try to catch it when it is in bloom. I missed it last year and the year before, the guy was spraying on the day I went out. This year, they were magnificent.

  There were a slew of us out there taking pictures making it hard to get a clean shot.

 One thing this Spring has brought has been a lot of rain. Here and everywhere on the Big Lakes. So the water level is extremely high. This is causing a lot of issues on the shorelines. We went down to a little park we like and was amazed how high the water was. You could not even walk out on the pier because the path way to it was under water.

 The waves were pounding the shore and they had put rocks to protect what was left of the beach area.   I hope you enjoyed my Springtime views.

 

 

 

Waking From the Dream

Fascinating…. and wonderful

The Complete Soul

Question: If I understand you right, you are saying the self-image is something separate from the soul. The soul, which is already complete, is the real of us. If this is true, how do I reclaim the soul as my true identity?

Let’s say someone gives you tickets to the Broadway production of The Wizard of Oz. As a member of the audience, you seat yourself before a stage. The house lights are still up, the curtain is drawn and the audience murmurs in quiet anticipation of the drama about to unfold before them. At this point, there are two worlds. There is the world of the audience and the anticipated world yet to unfold on the stage. The music begins, the lights go down, and a hush falls over the audience. At this moment, a transition occurs. Two worlds merge into one. As a member of the audience, your…

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How facing ACEs makes us happier, healthier and more hopeful

Another fabulous post about the impact of being aware of the ACE Study and what it can do for healing. Every doctor out there should know about this.

ACEs Too High

Ahappy

Won’t it depress people?

Isn’t it triggering?

Aren’t the topics troubling?

Won’t it make people sad or upset?

Fear is what I often fight when talking about ACEs — adverse childhood experiences. It’s not my fear though. It’s the fear others have about all things ACEs. Adversity. Abuse. Addiction. Abandonment. Neglect. Dsyfunction.

I don’t think this fear actually belongs to those of us who have lived with ACEs, who have lived through ACEs, who live with the aftermath of ACEs as adults.

When I found out about ACEs I was overwhelmed with joy. I felt radical relief. What I experienced was a profound sense of validation. It was epic.

I also felt rage because the CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study and related science hadn’t been shared with me. Not my doctors, therapists, shrinks, teachers, social workers or anyone while I got ready to become a parent.

Why?

This one study…

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Mother Nature’s Wrath

   This has been a strange week. Living near the Big Lakes, our weather is always changing. This week brought warm enough to sit outside temperatures and blue skies to the storm of the decade. And it looks like we are going to get creamed again this upcoming week with snow. Twenty-six years ago to the month, we went through an ice storm of epic proportions. It decimated the area. This week, we had a wind storm. It too decimated the area.

Our property is fine. Even our resident doves were fine. We have a ton of sticks in the garden. I hate picking up sticks but it beats what happened to our neighbor.

She has many old pine trees on her property. Many face our backyard. I thought for sure one that is still leaning was coming across and would have taken down a transformer and power lines and gone across our back yard.

Instead, a large tree very close to her house cracked in half and landed on her roof. It left a huge six foot gash in her roof which is now tarped. She has had power, but the people behind her do not. It was 9 degrees this morning with wind. It has snowed all weekend and has been bitterly cold.

When something like this hits a community, we rally and that has been happening. Our clinicians saw more patients just to make sure they were ok. On Friday, I volunteer for Meals on Wheels. Our delivery route was littered with down trees and large branches. We checked on our folks and made sure if they were in their homes, they were ok. And if they did not answer, we called in to verify their family knew they were not answering the door. The amount of damage was terrible. Huge old pines toppled like they were pushed over by a giant. One area would have nothing, and then there would be mass destruction to another.

I am so sadden by all the trees that are damaged or toppled. It takes a tree so long to get big and powerful and in a flash, they are gone. It reminds me how tenuous life really is. Strong and powerful pines, rooted into the earth and stable…ripped from their existence by the breath of Mother Nature.

Pantheism is a form a spiritual practice where you see God in everything, and everything has spirit. I subscribe to that belief. It really bothers me when I see the ruin of nature even when it is not man-made destruction. Houses can be fixed and cars can be replaced, but it the trees are not so easily replaced. The tree that came down on my neighbor was at least forty feet tall. It is part of what is left of a forest that lined the farm that was the center of our neighborhood before all the houses were built. The maples in my yard are over 75 years old; according to the arborist I had come in and trim. I am grateful they are ok.

  Amaryllis blooming in my inside garden

Slowly the community is coming back on line. It will take many months to clean up the area. No one was killed or even injured, which is amazing. People do not know how to handle intersections when the traffic lights are out. The Equinox is next week, it is full moon today and we are back to that silly daylight savings time. Everyone will be off kilter for this week. We will brace for the next storm this week, and hopefully, that will be then end of winter.

 

 

 

 

Induced Depression

falls rainbow

Last night we watched a couple of movies, like we do every Saturday night through the “can’t sit outside” time of the year. I rent all kinds of movies. Some are surprisingly good and some are so bad, you feel like you have been slapped when they are over. I rarely buy into what the Academy has touted as the best of the best. My favorites are usually love stories that end well, or animated. Anything from Pixar is a winner in my books.

But the choices seem to have narrowed. I try not to rent very violent movies. The violence stays with me for days. Any movie that has animals dying is not good and especially if it is a dog.

This post is not really movie critique but a commentary on what we are doing to ourselves. Depression is contagious. Being sad is not a good place to be. But we have surrounded ourselves with a world of death and mayhem and turmoil. We call it entertainment. What are we exposing our children to?

I no longer watch TV. Not at all. I was too disturbed by it. Funny, because that was what I did for a living and that is what I taught. But it to me is no longer entertainment. It is abusive. It sets up a world of comparison that no one can live up to. And the last thing I want to watch is people struggling and call it entertainment. I believe it desensitizes people so they are no longer shocked or empathetic. It is just someone else’s problem. Much like how images of war are no longer considered disturbing.

But I do love the escape of a good movie. I can see the art in the scenes and the pathos of a good story. I still watch for technical merit as well as looking for the quality of the finished movie.  I also love a good laugh. Best movie I have seen for a really good laugh is BFG (BIG Friendly Giant). Any movie that has a fart in it is big with me.

Last night’s choice was Manchester by the Sea followed by Beauty and the Beast. OMG, I had horrible dreams all night and feel like I was run over. Manchester has to be one of the saddest and most tragic movies out there, but I do not mean that in a good way. The hopelessness and chronic depression the main character goes through was not entertaining. It was just tragic. The story was about life and was very real in its depiction, I will give it that. But if I had known what I was going to be getting myself into viewing this, I would have not.

But the real offense was the second movie we rented; Beauty and the Beast. This was not an animated movie although there was tons of CG and special effects; it was live actors. I will say this, it was beautiful. The scenery, back grounds, dresses and sets were amazing. But it was extremely violent and filled with animals being killed. It missed the boat as far as we were concerned. But the violence was over the top and I would never let a child see that movie. The voice over did not match the mouths and it was choppy and erratically edited. It was a disappointment and again, just violent.

Even something like Pet Stories was violent. Why?

People might say that all fairy tales are violent. True as that is, they are only as violent as the reader and/or listener can conjure up in their head. When we put the stories to film, we are subjected to the movie maker’s concepts of violence.

Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, we had a different selection of entertainment than we have now. TV was not violent or sexual at all. It was entertainment. Some of the first movies I did see as a child were musicals. They were happy and bright. The first real exposure I had to a violent movie was Clockwork Orange and to this day I still hate it.

What are we doing to ourselves as a society? We know that negative bias is a real thing. Biologically, we are designed to accept negative input more so than positive. https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200306/our-brains-negative-bias.

Is it just me who feels a sense of loss from such constant negative bombardment? Am I just being overly sensitive? (see past blog) This is my opinion: I think truly that the media output is by design meant to create a society that can be controlled and manipulated into accepting darkness as way of being. The results are demonstrated in the amount of bullying and just nastiness we see in our lives from our adult relationships  and the behavior of our children. I don’t find it acceptable.