A journal of healing

Being a hermit

I take such joy in things such as nature and the environment when it is beautiful. And I take such offense when it is not. I relish the joy emanating from small children and yet have no patience for the hedonistic tendencies of the twenty to thirty something age group. I can sit in peace and quiet all by myself for hours and cherish those times. I freak out now in crowds and with loud noises. I struggle with incongruences. I have no tolerance for lies. In truth, my patience level is very low; not that I had a lot to being with. Sometimes, many times, I just want to be left alone. This is when I love my garden the most.

Garden at night

I used to be a people person. I am not sure when I got to hermit level, but that is about where I am. I used to entertain every weekend with parties and picnics. It was nothing for me to host a dinner for twelve. In fact, if I did not have something planned for the weekend, I felt like something was terribly wrong. I used to do things also during the week at night. No more. I do not want to nor do I have the energy to do much after working all day. I am up at five and at work shortly after seven am. By eight pm, I am asleep in my chair, in my garden.

It took a long time for my husband to understand alone time. He felt we had to do everything together all the time. Now he gets it and has learned that he also needs time and space by himself. We do not enjoy the same activities after dinner. He is a TV watcher, I am a reader. He goes to his man cave and I go to the garden.

Even at work, I am isolated and by myself. My office is hidden and off the beaten path. People do come and visit because it is a nice office and I take the time to listen. I run fans all year long to block out the sound of anyone near me and to help muffle the talking in my office. Our building is such a piece of crap. It is dirty and stuffy and no windows open.  The ventilation system does not work well and in my area, it does not work at all. In winter I freeze, in summer I cook. Hence two of the four  fans have heat. We are supposedly building a new facility but that is a least two years off and I probably will be retired. Why I love my space is because I have a huge window. There are only ten windows for the whole building.  I have plants in my office. Most cannot grow anything in the building. But however nice my space is, by the end of the day, my head is stuffed up and aches. I long for being outside in the fresh air.

Full moon over garden

People keep saying that when I retire I will be bored. I do not think so. My tolerance for hustle and bustle is nil. I am a completely different person when I do not have a schedule and “must-dos” on my list. It is not my intention to just sit and rot when I retire. I have a list of things to do, like cleaning out the prolific amount of STUFF in this house. I want to go to the recreation center which has a series of exercise classes for people with arthritis. I have so many crafts that I have not touched in years. And I will be able to spend the time I want in my garden.

 

 

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Comments on: "Being a hermit" (6)

  1. That is such a beautiful garden. Makes me think the fairies probably love it quite a lot, too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Jane,

    I could hear the sigh of relief as you escaped the confinement of an office cage and unwound in the nurturing comfort of your garden. You are a free spirit Jane and free spirits are not meant to be restrained by convention, expectation, obligation, or responsibility, nor kept behind walls and windows…free spirits are born to fly!

    Google offer a second definition of the word ‘hermit’ that I enjoyed as much as the more traditional use of the word…Hermit – ‘a hummingbird found in the shady lower layers of tropical forests, foraging along a regular route.’ 🙂

    Bathed in the bright of twinkling lights, lulled by a balmy Moon, your garden becomes a kingdom hidden from the eyes of the world and only ever seen by you…it is your secret garden, the heart of your home. I always get the impression it is a very calm and peaceful place to dream.

    In reference to talk of fairies…I have a quick question. Is there a collective noun for a group of fairies? 🙂 If not I sense you’ll need to invent a useful word for when you next sit late into the evening enchanted within your garden by the Fae.

    Hoping all is well Jane and your week ahead blessed with peace and happiness. Take care.

    Namaste 🙂

    DN

    Like

  3. Hey, Jane, I’m with you. After a hellish day at work, all I want to do is sit at my computer and play mindless videogames, or sit quietly in a corner reading a nice book. My husband prefers to watch TV, so we each just do our own thing. It works out well that way. Once I retire (not too far away, hopefully), I intend to spend more time on my blog and photography. At least, that’s the game plan.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Diane Littlefield said:

    I understand this maybe more than you know. It’s good to know I am not the only one.

    Like

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