A journal of healing

Lessons from the River

twighlite-river

The River brings out the best in me. I am not sure if it is because I am on vacation and most everything that stresses me is not there. I think that is a big part of it. But my connection with the animals and the lessons I see every day there also contributes to my wellbeing.

island-trees

I woke this morning with a panic attack or an anxiety attack. AGAIN! There is nothing affecting me that I can point to that would be a cause. I stayed in bed for a bit trying to just breathe through it but the animals were also awake and wanted to start their day. So I got up and went outside with them and I was still shaking. I tried to practice some of the techniques from my reading I did this past week.

heron-1

I am currently rereading Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff. I also just finished The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher Germer. I am going to be taking a class from a friend who I used to work with. She quit her safe job and went into her own business of coaching and teaching. How brave she is and her dreams are coming true. I am thinking this is going to be very good for me. But it took me a week to actually make the commitment and sign up. I agonized over all the reasons why I could not take it and fretted over the cost. It is not a cheap sessions of classes.

If you can see the irony, raise your hand. My biggest concern was spending the money on myself for this class so I was coming up with reasons to get out of taking it.   I wrote to my friend and expressed my concerns and she kindly answered all my questions and reassured me it would be fine. I told her, “see why I need this class” and she agreed.

slapping

This is me, slapping at the world when things do not go my way. Guess what, things don’t go anyone’s way. They just go. I am the one who is struggling with the flow. I am the one who causes the strife.

rover-2

The River shows us that the flow never stops. But you have to adapt. You have to roll with the punches.

rover-3

I constantly feel the need to fight. That nothing comes easy and that I need to struggle. I do in some cases because of prejudice and ignorance. And that won’t go away, either.

splash-2

Some people easily adapt. We had lunch with my favorite Sister-in-law who spoke about her philosophy in life. She has dealt with many crappy situations  in her life and has always rolled with the punches. She says, “ if it doesn’t affect my life or the life of my boys, it is not my business and I don’t bother with it.”

goose

Today is a day to remember how blessed we all are that fifteen years ago, we did not ALL die. It was a real opportunity for all out war. I cannot imagine how people who lost folks to 9/11 went on with their lives, but they did. They are heroes. Forgotten heroes. I still see in my mind’s eye the images of what happened as it happened. I remember trying not to freak out in front of the students who thought that it was just a movie and not real.

dbl-herons

I wish for peace in everyone’s heart. I need to work on being more compassionate towards myself and give “me a break.” I hope the next couple of months will teach me to be more calm and accepting of the gift we call life.

 

 

 

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Comments on: "Lessons from the River" (4)

  1. Beautiful photos! I hope the class is rewarding. 🙂

    Like

  2. Rising Hawk said:

    Yes, give yourself a break! You deserve it. I wish you much peace . . .

    Like

  3. You too and thank you

    Like

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