Is it ever too late? Is there a point when there is no way to mend a torn relationship? Can people repair situations or is there any way to change the outcome? Is the concept of changing such as Scrooge just fiction?
One of the toughest things about getting older is that is having regrets. When you have a lot of life to look back on, it is easy to want to change a few things or wish for a better outcome. I know I have a few honest regrets. Teachings indicate that regrets are a waste of time as we should always live in the present moment. I agree about living in the present moment. But a wise person can review their life and revisit the things they may regret. Then they have two choices: dwell or learn from them.
I have recently reconnected with someone whose life has been one I would not consider to be honorable. He made some choices that impacted his family in very hurtful and harmful ways. It was years ago and now he wishes to make amends, or so he says. And this too is an issue because no one trusts him.
But I truly feel for him and want to help him reconnect. He is older and not in the greatest health. And this sets up a dichotomy for me because I also do not want to be a victim or feel used. I am sure anyone in his circle is also leery of his attempts to repair relationships.
So my thoughts this morning were about being vulnerable. This is the key to having an open and honest life. I also thought about reconciliation and healing and forgiveness. Judgment only closes doors and will only exacerbate the situation. These are things I have control over.
No one really can change the outcome of their history. It is done and final. But can we change the present moment and the future so that regrets are minimized or have a less negative impact. I think we can help others lessen their burden too as forgiveness goes a long way to help people heal.
What do you think?
photos: Plaster clowns on the molding of the children’s room at Boldt Castle.