Mother Teresa said, “To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.” As women, we often tend to do everything for everyone else. And then we get depleted and expect others to rally. The only one who can fill your lamp is you. What does this mean? And why should we think about this?
This holiday time of the year puts extra pressure on all of us. Whether you have kids or not, or celebrate Christmas, it is the end of the year and there are a lot of demands. In my household, we celebrate Christmas, honor Yule and our wedding anniversary all in the same week. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays. But it is also a lot of work to prepare for.
I also have the demands of preparing and delivering and then tracking of all the required annual mandatory training for all the agencies I oversee. I was late this year rolling it out because I put it on a new system. It really stressed me out as it was a ton of work all on my shoulders. I also have a new training program that has to go to the State for approval for another division of the company. This was on top of two huge initiatives and four very big facilitated training for all of the supervisors and managers, all 55 of them, which happened in a span of two weeks.
My oil was spent.
And I sit here a type this, I am sick as a dog. The bug that was going around came to spend time with me on the day before my first vacation day since August. I was so run down, I was a perfect host. And so with all the good stuff of the holidays coming, I sit here with a box of Kleenex, a hacking cough and a pounding head.
Yes, I feel successful that I accomplished all that I did in the ridiculous amount of time that I did it in. But it was not about me. All that matters was someone accomplished the work. Work for me only deposits a small amount of oil in comparison to the amount it takes out. I think if I were younger and trying to climb “The Ladder” it would be different. But I am high as I want to go in the hierarchy of the company and my career is short lived by three or four more years.
I have been making promises to myself that I will never spend five months again like I did this fall. I hope that I can live up to that promise. The stress was ridiculous and in hind sight, I am not sure there was much I could have done to avoid it all. The only thing I could have done was more for me. That did not happen enough.
I do not like New Year’s resolutions. They are a predicate to failure. But I need to change my focus on the energy allotted I have, which is restricted because of my energy zapping Psoriatic Arthritis. But there are things I do like to do that recharge the batteries and so I am going to be more mindful of them.
People will not remember that my house was not perfectly decorated for the holidays not even two years from now. But they will remember me if I am cheerful and loving. I can only be that way if I am recharged and feeling good. Things I can do to help are to take my vacation days I have coming, spend time outdoors, go for road trips with my hubby who loves them and the change in scenery is good for me, write and read more. My oil list will continue.
I wish everyone who reads my blog a Merry Christmas, a Blessed Yule and a wonderful holiday season whatever is your preference to celebrate. Also wish for you the mindset that you matter and should take the time to fill your lamp.