This first week of June, my most favorite month, has been amazingly raining and cold. Adding to the gloom is a family situation that arrived in my email last week. Seems my second oldest brother is in need of a substantial loan. It happens all the time in families. Accept in this family, for me, there are always triggers. And this situation has triggered all sorts of things for me especially anger. And because of that, I am physically suffering now.
My brother is 70 years old, 10 years my senior, and married to a woman who is younger than I am. He moved to Florida this winter under a big fanfare of how wonderful it was going to be and how fabulous their new place was. Prior to moving, they had the condo completely redone. They moved down there from Colorado after completing their annual cruise, this time for 16 days. Mazel tov!
When my Aunt passed away three years ago, she left to all of us a very large inheritance. We all got the same amount. I put a portion of mine into my house and the rest remains invested in hopes of an easy retirement. My sister bought a huge house, but that was her dream. My oldest brother put into his investments and retired. My other brother bought a vintage car and spent his whole inheritance on this car. He is broke. We all thought that this brother had put his into their Florida dream. Not so. He is penniless, neither one of them have a job after being there six months, and the condo is mortgaged to the hilt. He is in deep do do and could lose the place and the small amount of money he put down on it.
The problem is he is not explaining how he got into that situation in the first place since he could have bought the condo outright and still had money left over. He has nothing. They have been there since the first of the year, and six months later they still do not have jobs.
My oldest brother wants us to react to this like a family and the three with some money left contribute and bail his ass out. My sister has agreed to a very nominal amount. My brother is will to cough up as long as I put in three times in what my sister has. He will double my contribution making the requested 10 grand. My brother already owes my oldest brother and wife 5 grand which he never paid back over twenty years ago. This is not a good risk. My brother wants us to just give it to him and forget it.
NO…. this is what I am screaming in my head. NOOOOOOO. We all had the same amount of inheritance. Other than that, my life has been complete affected by their stupidity and I have been paying for them since I was a baby. This is what is stirred up: They all had opportunities I did not. They all were sent off to college, and not just any college, good schools: U of R, Syracuse, RIT and Fredonia. When it came to me, the answer was no way. Only my oldest brother finished. I had to pay my own way and it took me to age 51 when I completed my Masters totally on my own dime. I am the only one with a Masters. I have a good paying job because of that effort. Not my fault they don’t.
The laundry list of infractions is huge and I do not want to open this all up on paper. Believe me, it is all in my gut right now and I am reliving everything. My triggers are firing off all sorts of lovely reactions. No sleep, being cranky, upset stomach and huge flares of pain and immobility. I wish, other than the oldest brother, they would all crawl back into their holes and remain there. Instead, they slither out when they are in trouble and want something.