A journal of healing

You get what you ask for?

Backyard

You get what you ask for. This is a common theory that if you put out a positive energy, you will receive positive things back. I am not sure if this really true. But I am willing to believe it or would rather have it be the truth. I have fallen back into an old trap of finding the “ugh” instead of the “ah” in my life. I am very cyclical and since I know this, I just try to ride out the ugh wave. It does help me to write. It seems to be a natural flow. Ah follows ugh and ugh follows ah. The past couple of days seem to be dipping now more to the ah.

Except yesterday. We got hit with a rotten snow storm. This is not unusual for my upstate New York…. And I mean real upstate New York, not Poughkeepsie. I came down so hard and fast that they could not clear the roads. I do not like driving in blinding snow and I do not like driving in rush hour. Both occurred. People were stuck left and right, off in ditches and perpendicular in the roads. I waited at the bottom of a hill for people to get unstuck while these crazy-ass four wheelers decided to go around me and make a bigger mess. But I got home. Granted I got stuck in the driveway and by the time we unstuck me I was a mess. The result was a screaming night of cramps in my legs, feet and abdomen. Terrible.

But today was another view of how gorgeous the snow can be. The roads were cleared and cleaned and I do not mind that everything is dressed with cottony puffs and drift  skirts and diamond necklaces of ice.

But as far as getting what you ask for…. It is an interesting theory of the Law of Attraction. Likes attract. So if you put out bright and glowing happiness, it should come back in spades. I am not sure if this is not just brain washing, but it is a wonderful idea. It cannot hurt to be more positive anyways.

When I was going through my divorce, I saw my reflection in a window of a store. I look beaten up and I was. It was not a great time in my life and I wore it like a gown of doom. This shroud of despair precipitated my demeanor, announcing my failure. I was walking in our little town at a farmers market. I decided to plant a smile on my face and proceeded to walk around in the crowd. The reaction to my smile was either people walked further away or they smiled back. And when they smiled back, it made me feel wanted and accepted again. It worked like the best tonic. Not only did my smile tell my brain that all was well and it released happy hormones, but the gentle smile of people who had no reason to smile at me made me feel connected again.

I have a dear friend at work who is the most caring person. Her world fell apart these past months. Her husband was injured, TBI and now is out of work, waiting for disability to kick in. However, he has been suffering with horrible sickness causing other issues like him being unstable and falling. Her aunt fell and broke her hip. Her son’s dog had a terminal illness and will need to cross the bridge soon. She carried on like a trouper at work. She just started back to school to get her RN, and started the program with Anatomy and Physiology, one of the toughest courses. She had just gotten back to work after cancer surgery on her thyroid in September. To talk to her you would never know her plight. On Monday, on the way out of a store where she stopped to get a cake for one of her staff’s birthdays, she fell. She broke her shoulder and tore her rotator cuff. Now where is the justice in that? And there is no way this woman attracted this mess. But there was some good in it as she is home with her husband and able to take care of him. They are letting her work from home, so she gets a paycheck. But she is carrying on and finding what peace she can in all this.

I am reminded that when I think I have issues, there are people out there who REALLY have issues. I am blessed and I know it. So I am going to focus on the ah’s, even when I am up to my ass in snow.

little tree

 

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